Recently, I’ve been a bit–is annoyed the right word?
Maybe I’m confused, but I think people are confused too. One minute, there are those who say I’m evil (or some other synonym), and then we have the ones who think I should be canonized, or already have been.
I don’t do many of the things that a lot of people do, but it just means I am different. It doesn’t mean I’m perfect, righteous, or some other word for stuck-up Christian. All those things I don’t do, I can lay at the feet of personal preference or the sheer grace of God. For example, I don’t drink, because alcohol tastes nasty… don’t smoke, because breathing isn’t optional… don’t swap spit or other body fluids, because–have you seen me recently? No one is challenging that particular state of affairs, plus I have a complex about hygiene and sharing body fluids… I could keep going.
Long and short, I’m… tired of being seen as some sort of super ‘holy’ creature, because God factors highly in my thoughts. The alternative is to go full-on crazy. I don’t talk about God because I’m trying to make a point or preach to people, so I can check random evangelism moment off my checklist (the one I don’t have, by the way). I talk about God, because He is what makes sense to me… He is how I maintain this tenuous hold on my sanity… He is why I’m alive, rather than existing in my zombie zone.
I am not the standard… never have been… never wish to be. God is the only one worth comparing ourselves to, and He is willing to embrace and rescue us when we fall short. Remember that thing called the Gospel? Yeah, that’s the point…
Don’t look at me and think I’m better… or think I think I’m better. If I’m perfect in any way, it is this…
I am perfectly human… just like you.